This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
