i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
