ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
