Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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