Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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