I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Congratulations! We have a period
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
