that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
