Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
