Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
