I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
