When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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