Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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