why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
