butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
