She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
