That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize