Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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