what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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