If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
