You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
