my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's not a walk of shame if you run
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
