just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
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And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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