If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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