Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize