Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
