my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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