It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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