Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
