i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
