Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
