Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
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But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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