good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
