About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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