Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
