You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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