I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
