This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize