I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
