Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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