found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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