you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
