I need help removing her.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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