That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
