Non-Jews are for practice
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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