Christians are straight up FREAKS
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
