one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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