I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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