ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize