idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
