I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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