I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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