The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
