my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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