Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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