You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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