were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
